5 Things To Consider Before Pregnancy
It's Sunday, May 15 and this is...the "final countdown!"
I'm been singing that silly song like crazy this past week lol. I picture myself wearing a white headband across my forehead struggling to breathe as I reach the top steps lol just like Sylvester Stallone. That's kinda what pregnancy feels like, especially in this final, 9th month.
Like, holy crap I've made it... I'm A L M O S T T H E R E!!! 😅
Gosh does time fly! I can't believe my little guy will be here so soon!! I mean he's been here this whole time, but I mean HERE.. in my arms, where I can see him and kiss him and touch him and see what we've created. It's so wild. I get so excited and emotional thinking about it.
So, I thought for those of you thinking about or wanting to have a baby, I'd share some tips I've learned along the way. This is by no means an exhaustive list but a tiny "beginner's guide".
As always take what works for you... and leave the rest behind!! Also, you all know I'm not a medical doctor and anything I list here is NOT guaranteed to work for you or a must-do. Listen to your intuition, talk to your doctor and know that everyone's bodies are different and your path may be different, but I do hope that at the end of the day, whatever it is that you are hoping, wishing and dreaming of, comes true. The first step is believing it. ❤️
You'll never ever feel 100% ready. I mean it. Even when you've bought your home, car, have a stable job with health insurance and even if you have a nice savings account or a happy marriage or relationship - you will come up with a million and one reasons why "next month" is a better month to start lol. How do I know? Well, I get it. Changing your life F O R E V E R is well, scary. It's new and exciting but it's also scary because there is no way you are going back! I say if you feel 80% ready and you're ideally in a loving, caring, respectful relationship with someone who mutually wants the same thing, which is to be a parent forever with you, then go for it. Obviously I recommend talking to your partner over and over again till you've both talked through all your concerns and hopes and wishes. Communication is key and if you never talk about wanting babies before marriage or commitment, that's a red flag. Discuss what is important for you. Discuss ideal timelines. Discuss your health and the health history of your family. Discuss how you'd want to parent. Discuss where you'd want to raise your babies, where you'd want to spend holidays. Discuss how many you'd even want. Is 1 enough and is 3 too many? Discuss religion and finances and the involvement you do or don't want from friends/family. Discuss it all and see how you feel after. Then sit with those feelings and see if having a baby now or later is something you both want. Whatever you decide is going to be what is best for you. Simple as that. Don't compare yourself to others. Your journey is unique and special so please honor that.
Pregnancy may come easier or harder than you think. Looking back, we got pregnant on purpose - that's right, because we had talked about it for years and we knew it was something we both really wanted. We had actually discussed it on our second date over 6 years ago! 😅 Not sure why I thought it would be difficult to conceive, but life surprises you and we got pregnant most likely 99.99% on our wedding night lol. TMI? Well, sorry - not sorry! I've gotten used to telling it how it is and that's what you'll get here with me. :) So, expect the unexpected and be open to life showing you the way. Maybe it'll happen super quick or maybe it will take some time. Everyone's bodies are different. If you have an inkling something may be off, seek support, talk to your doctor and have your partner get checked too. In your thirties and onwards, time is of the essence. Don't waste time thinking you have all the time in the world. If having a baby now is not possible, consider freezing your eggs if that is something you can afford to do. As women, we have tons of support when it comes to medical advances in today's research but the truth is, we really don't have "all the time in the world" compared to our male partners and at age 35 we are already considered "geriatric" in the birthing world by our OBGYN's. Talk about feeling old! So, the sooner you uncover what's going on if there are any fertility issues, the more time you have to work on things together.
Remove toxins and add in vitamins - I'll never know for sure but I feel deep in my gut that when I removed a lot of the junk I was eating, it cleaned out my system and allowed my body to prepare for motherhood. Also, if you are pretty darn positive that you'd like to get pregnant in the near future or next few years - start taking your prenatal vitamins asap. I swapped out my daily multivitamin for my Ritual Prenatal Vitamin about 2 years before I got pregnant and I've taken it every day throughout my pregnancy. Around week 20 I also added a daily pre and probiotic and now that I'm in my last weeks I've started adding in Primerose nightly capsules too among other healthy foods like dates, raspberry leaf tea, fresh fruits, veggies and lean protein to help nourish me, my baby and my ever growing body!
Your friendships and weekends will change- And that's okay! If you are for example, one of the first from your group of friends to get pregnant, it certainly will change for obvious reasons. Maybe those Sunday brunch dates will turn into sleeping in because your body is exhausted or you're suffering from morning sickness and hey, you can't drink alcohol anymore so if your friends are constantly partying it up, your lifestyle will definitely change, but that's okay! Sometimes you'll feel like you're missing out and that's normal, but remind yourself that you're creating LIFE and no mimosa can top that - ever! Try substituting in a new hobby that excites you. For me it's writing my blog and capturing my weekly pregnancy updates on instagram, going for walks, trying new recipes and taking every pregnancy training possible to prepare for this mega new life I'll be living. Also, surround yourself with others in this journey. I recommend joining the mommy app, Peanut or Facebook Groups for those wanting to be on the same journey as you and once you are pregnant, I highly recommend joining a group for mamas with those due the same month as you! I joined a few and oh gosh how helpful have they been! I've learned so much from other mamas and it's a support network like no other! Speaking to a mama of two who is pregnant with her third and literally knows what you're going through is a whole other level of support.
Protect your Peace - This goes for life in general, but especially in pregnancy. The last thing you want is to surround yourself with anyone who stresses your out or causes havoc on your mental wellness. Do your best to distance yourself from anyone who requires too much from you or makes you feel badly for not wanting or being able to hang out like "old times" and that includes your closest friends and family. Pregnancy is quite the journey and will require new things from you each and every week and month. What was once "easy and fun" in the beginning may be so way out of your desire of things to do around month 5-9. It's all dependent on you and how you feel. Listen to your body. Do what feels good and learn to say NO to things, people, places and experiences that you no longer feel good. This doesn't mean it will last forever, but for now, prioritize yourself and slow down. Your body physically and mentally needs the rest. You can thank me later!