First off there are MANY! Way too many, but I thought I had a few minutes of uninterrupted "sola time" and I chose to write because it makes me feel good to share and express myself in this way. So, let's get started!
1) Motherhood is Brutal & Beautiful
Nothing could ever prepare me for the joy and happiness creating life has brought me. There's just no amount of expression or words in this world to explain it. If you're a mama, you know this already. From the pregnancy aches and pains, nausea, lack of sleep and of course birth and especially the never-ending postpartum period, there is so much to motherhood that can be laid out here. There are layers upon layers of beauty and brutality lol and I mean that! One minute you're getting thrown up on, and the next minute you're bathing your baby and in complete awe and affection over this sweet and beautiful little bundle with big eyes. Motherhood is wild and hilarious and as my next point describes, never ending! :)
2) Motherhood Is 24/7
No amount of daycare and nanny's and support from others will ever fully "relieve you" from the reality and blessing of being a mother. Trust me, I've met countless mamas (new mamas and seasoned mamas, single mamas and married mamas, mamas to '1 and done' and mamas to multiples) and they all say the same thing because it's true - even if you work a full time job and have a full-time nanny, you are still a mother 24/7. When shit hits the fan, you are the one being called to make the decisions. You are the mother, you are the worrier, the caretaker, the one who stresses and rushes to see what happened and quickly tries to "fix it" or "make it all better". You are the one who feels 'the feels' intensely.
If your kiddo gets sick, even with a dependable partner, husband etc, I will say your baby atleast in certain seasons of their life will want YOU and only YOU. This doesn't take away from devoted and incredible partners who help and support us so much, but as a breastfeeding mama, the urge to want "mama!!!!" and not "papa!" is real. Motherhood is a 24/7 duty, during the hard times and thankfully during those sweet, beautiful times too. Once a mama, always a mama, no matter what! As hard as it it to admit it, even with the hard, long nights of teething or colds, I wouldn't change it for the world!
3) Mama Is NOT meant to do it All!
This is a tough one. I know being in a solid relationship is something everyone dreams of having, but sometimes relationships are tricky and there is no such thing as a perfect partnership. Being with your partner and bringing a baby into this world can be at times especially when there is little sleep to be had - mayhem! :) It can be hard, stressful and triggering caring for a tiny baby and figuring out your new roles as parents. It's totally normal! I will say that having the incredible support of my loving and devoted husband has made me such a better mother and for that I am so so grateful. My heart goes out to all the single parents doing their very best, because it sure is no easy feat. Even with a supportive partner, parenthood can be tough. It's not impossible, but man is it hard. So, back to my point. you are not meant to do it all. Apparently it "takes a village" but sadly in this day and age, that village doesn't really exist for many of us. Families live in different states or countries and childcare can be expensive. No matter where you are in this day in your journey of motherhood, one thing. that has helped me is seeing support.
Please don't wait to get the help you need! Whether it's getting lactation support, or seeking therapy or getting fresh air and going on nature walks with close friends, eating good foods or having a good laugh, remember that you are still you and you deserve support - but no one in this world will ever help you... unless you speak up and ask. Sometimes that's the hardest part. So remember, ask - and you shall receive! I'll say it again - You deserve support. You deserve rest. You deserve a break and when you do get it, you will be an even better mama and parent for it!
Sending love,
