Pruning Plants... and People
I love coming home and these days... staying home and seeing the color green.
It represents life to me and to feel really good, I need to be surrounded with it.
My house is full of plants. They're in corners, they're on top of my kitchen cabinets, on my bookshelf, my nightstand, in the bathroom and hanging above our living room window too. -->
Friends know I love a great candle, an amazing book or a beautiful plant. I'm definitely that plant lady.
What I've learned over the years is that aside from water, sunshine and love, you must also prune!
Pruning is the act of cutting off the parts that are dead or overgrown, to increase fruitfulness and growth. As much as this sounds like a "gardening tip", it's a life-tip too.
When you cut off a dead branch, you eliminate it from taking on unnecessary importance or weight in your life. When it's removed, you no longer need to worry that mold or toxic elements will creep, further poisoning the rest of the plant or person.
Let's translate this into a humanly example now.
You have a friend, let's call her "Rachel." Rachel calls you only when she needs a favor, or when she needs to cry and vent. John dumped Rachel. Rachel rings you immediately. When you need a shoulder to cry on, or to vent, she is nowhere to be found and ignores your calls. Rachel comes back around and starts asking you for money. You feel bad and want to be a good friend so you lend her the money with the agreement that she will pay you back. A few weeks pass and instead of paying you back, she asks you for more. To put the cherry on top, you catch up with your other friends and hear that she's been saying cruel things about you. Seriously Rachel...?
Rachel is: 1) a leech 2) toxic 3) needs to go!
You must prune Rachel. Now. You'd be giving your kindness and generosity to someone that doesn't actually deserve to be in your life.
By keeping her around, you'd also lesson the chances of creating the space needed to attract and bring in a better friend who will actually care, listen and be there for you as well.
When something is weighing heavy on your heart, prune and be rid of it. Sure, easier said than done, but it's true. You'll never know what life is like until you have given yourself the space and mental clarity to consider the pros and cons of that relationship. I know for some of you, pruning difficult parents for example, doesn't necessarily make you feel warm and fuzzy, but I do know that giving the person time and space can allow for healing to happen.
Pruning people that cause you pain, worry, misery or stress can sometimes be the best medicine for your soul.
Surprisingly, with time and space, those people may realize how hurtful their behavior or words were. They may apologize and make the necessary effort to change. If not, then you're better off without them. Let them go and be free.
Don't feel guilty for letting them know you need space and time to think. Shutting out the chatter and sitting with yourself in silence to hear what your intuition has been telling you all along, can sometimes be all the guidance and advice you need.
With this new opening in your life, better people and experiences will come and with that, the quality of your life will improve immensely. Say buh-bye and watch it bloom like never before.
Are there certain people in your life that you need a little or a lot of distance from? Share your thoughts or feedback in the comments below. I'd love to hear how you were able to create space, clarity and move forward. Has pruning helped? If you're struggling to do this, but know you need to, let me know as well!
With lots of love + pruning,